Finding my Person

There’s one thing in life I never thought I would do or at least not anytime soon.

I always thought I wouldn’t find my perfect guy until my late 20’s because I’m so picky. Once I finally stopped looking, I found him. And it turns out he was right in front of me the whole time.

Here’s a little background story…

My best friends that I met here at college, Jess and Janna, had a neighbor named Kollin. I remember the first time I saw him. He walked into their room to talk for a minute and after he left I said to my friends, “That blonde guy was kinda cute.” (I lied… he is very very cute, but I tried to keep it cool.) The rest of freshman year, Kollin and I grew to become pretty good friends. I knew he sort of had a thing for me all year, but I never thought it was anything serious because he never seemed like the “serious” kind of guy to me. Then one day, he texted me. “What are you doing Thursday?” I didn’t think anything of it and just responded, “I don’t know yet, why?” And that’s when he said, “I’m taking you on a date.”

And it was all uphill from there.

Shortly after out first date, we became official. And two weeks after that, he told me he loved me. I didn’t say it back until about a month after because I wanted to make sure I 100% meant it, and I did. The truth is, it all just happened out of nowhere, but I quickly fell in love with everything about him.

“Falling for him wasn’t falling at all. It was walking into a house and suddenly knowing I’m home.” ~Unknown

We’ve only been dating for six months, but it feels like years. Kollin is everything I’ve ever wanted and more. He is the definition of my perfect guy and still gives me butterflies all the time. He makes me happier than I have ever been and understands me better than anyone.

I was never a clingy girl until I met Kollin. I always wanted my space every once in a while, but now that I have Kollin, spending a few hours apart feels like weeks. He may be stubborn, conceited, and impatient sometimes, but he is so kind, outgoing, funny, always happy, easygoing and soooo handsome. I promise he is just overall perfect.

Our friends always tell us how we’re the exact same person which is why I think we get along so well. He deals with all my emotions and still manages to love me more than anything. Kollin is much more than just my boyfriend. He’s my person, my partner in crime, my pillow, my superman, my soulmate, my best friend. And I am so thankful for that.

I somehow love him more and more every single day if that’s even possible, and every day I find something new to love about him. Coming from a person who has never been in love until now, it’s the best feeling in the world and hope everyone gets to experience love like this someday. Although I wasn’t looking for him, I found him, and I am so happy I did because I could not imagine loving anyone else.

Life suggestion; fall in love with your best friend.

I love you forever Koll,

Lex

    

To Him

i hope one day you get to read this

i hope you make me happy and that i make you happy, too

i hope you constantly make me laugh even when we’re trying to be serious

i hope you make fun of me when i eat the entire carton of cookie dough ice cream

i hope you tickle me until i can’t breathe even though you know i hate being tickled

i hope you understand that i won’t love you nearly as much as i’ll love our dog

i hope you shower me with kisses every morning even if we have really bad morning breath

i hope you appreciate my OCD when all your clothes are color coordinated

i hope you’re okay with ordering pizza when i end up burning the chicken i had planned for us

& i hope you’re good at cooking so we won’t have to order out all the time

i hope you eat my vegetables off my plate at dinner because you know how much i hate them

i hope you take me on adventures to get me out of my comfort zone because you know i’m not a fan of the outdoors

i hope you’ll share the last piece of cake with me but understand that i’ll want the bigger half

i hope you stay up all night watching my favorite, sappy, romantic movies with me even if you hate them

& i hope you let me pretend to watch and understand sports with you

i hope you’ll listen to me rant about the current book i’m reading and pretend to be interested

i hope you’ll sing along with me to every song we listen to no matter how bad you think my singing voice is

i hope we have the best time of our lives together

most of all, i hope you’ll love me with all your heart even at my worst

love,

Lex

waiting for perfect

i can’t even begin how to explain this, but let’s just say i’m a perfectionist. simple as that.

i need everything in my life to be perfect. & when it’s not… well i panic.

this is simply the reason i am single and probably will be for a while.

sure, I’ve had several relationships, but I’ve ended up turning all of them down.

because of the obsessive romantic movie and book lover that i am, i have so many expectations that i want my life to live up to.

for example, when i find out a guy wants a relationship with me, i have a tendency to not reciprocate the feeling because i don’t think my heart will let me until i find the one.

it may sound selfish of me to say that i want a “perfect” guy, but it’s not that i want a perfect guy, it’s that i want him to be my perfect guy & perfect for me.

sometimes i think I’m gonna spend my entire life looking and waiting for that one guy and end up wasting my life away.

sometimes i think, “what if i never find him?” my mom and dad found each other in high school, my sister found her boyfriend in high school, and I’m still waiting.

sometimes i think i look too hard, and when i do find someone, i stay up for constant nights on end picking out reasons why i shouldn’t be with him.

like i said, i don’t know how to explain it, but I’ve learned that i just need to let things happen. I’m a firm believer in the saying “everything happens for a reason”, so maybe I’m supposed to be alone for a while and figure things out for myself.

it’s just so hard for me accept the fact that i might not find someone, and if i do, he might not be my perfect guy.

i’m hoping the saying, “there is someone out there meant for everyone” is true and that i’ll find him soon.

i know I’m only 18, but not finding the right guy scares the shit out of me.

most people are afraid of falling in love, but not me. i am so obsessed with the idea of love that when i do fall in love, i want it to be absolutely  perfect.

so yes, i’m a perfectionist.

& yes, i’ll be single for a while.

but i know my perfect person is out there, waiting for me, too.

at least i hope.

 

so i guess my perfect guy awaits,

Lex

Valentine’s Day

Oh, Valentine’s Day.

The day where everyone is either hopelessly in love or hating their single life (or loving it).

I figured since this lovely day was coming up, I could take the time and write about my previous Valentine’s days. In elementary school, I had always imagined Valentine’s Day as such a great holiday because, being myself, I was so excited to get so much candy and delicious treats. You can’t forget about the fun parties and games we always had planned, too. And then junior high came along, and my 8th grade boyfriend who I thought I was deeply in love with dumped me right before Valentine’s Day. Harsh, right? The next couple years were spent with my best friend. Every year we would buy each other stupid little gifts in honor of us being single and eat a heart shaped pizza while we watched the most current, popular rom-com that most likely made us cry. That was until my junior year of high school when she got a boyfriend, but I was still my single self. Feeling bad for my loneliness, my best friend still managed to see Fifty Shades of Grey with me that night and then spent the rest of the night with her boyfriend. The following year (last year), I actually spent Valentine’s Day with my boyfriend (current ex). I had the whole night planned and expected it to be a perfect night. Long story short, let’s just say my night started with my boyfriend being an hour and a half late. So, after I called the restaurant and pushed our dinner reservations back, twice, we finally made it dinner. We went to an Italian restaurant which was absolutely amazing, and the night eventually ended up turning out okay.

Personally, Valentine’s Day is just another regular day to me which is surprising because of the hopeless romantic that I happen to be. Maybe one day I’ll feel differently about it if I have a reason to. I may not have had my fair share of perfect Valentine’s Days, but I’m only eighteen. I still have a boat load of Valentine’s Days ahead of me. Who knows? Maybe this year will be different. Or maybe I’ll just sit in my dorm and eat chocolate cupcakes and watch The Notebook (again). But…

the city awaits,

Lex